60 Hours Of Meditation In 60 Days

(Day 1 = September 10th, 2022)

Day 1: felt accomplished I could do it. Had erotic thoughts with edited. My mind was mostly full for the entire hour. Felt a lot of drowsiness because of the lack of coffee in the morning.

Day 2: started the meditation late at night (~12:40 AM) and could do 40 min before I felt sleepy.

Day 3: woke up, washed face, drank a bottle of water with lemon, stretched, drank half a cup of coffee and then started the meditation. I feel like this is the ideal formula (with a few tweaks here and there) for getting into a relaxed and clear frame for knowledge-working. Did feel relaxed for the first 50 min, then started with repeated “When is this going to end?” or “Is the timer working?” thoughts. When I decided to check (I should have resisted that impulse), there were less than 2 min remaining. Still, amazing feeling.

Day 4: easier 60 min than yesterday. Felt relaxed and looking forward to the meditation coming in, so that might have helped. Did not reach a deep relaxation state as I had a thought pop-up pretty frequently this time. Thought about the timer, I’m guessing, around 50 minutes in (for about 2 or 3 min) and that’s it. Important to note that yesterday in a conversation I felt that I was not pulled and thrown around by my emotions that much (i.e. that I was ~centered~). Already seeing some of the rewards.

Day 5: the easiest 60 min yet - had a handful of thoughts about when it was going to end, but the timer ringing was unexpected. Woke up not feeling mentally great (a lot of mind-clutter/non-clarity) and the meditation certainly helped. It took me about 40 to 50 minutes to clear out thoughts and just start to enter a deep relaxation state (which I cumulatively might have experienced a couple of minutes of). Also processed an event from 5 years ago with an old ex-girlfriend that I think helped to release that from my sub-conscious. Great overall!

Day 6: the hardest 60 min yet. Meditated on the roof as I had people working in the house, which meant non-ideal conditions (a lot of sun and I had the recurring “Is somebody watching me?” thought). I even felt sweat drops trickling down my back. Did not reach any substantial relaxation state this time, but did have “productive” thoughts. Opened my eyes for the last ~10 min and just sat there observing the birds and the sky. Would not repeat meditating in the roof.

Day 7: easiest day yet — only had one thought of “When is it going to end?” and it was probably ~55 minutes in. First time I don’t do it first thing in the morning as I had tennis classes then yet little to no difference in experience in this regard. Mostly relaxed, little chattering. Getting - and feeling - better.

Day 8: skipped (entire day at the beach) - will make up for these 60 min later on.

Day 9: overall, not that hard - most important was the fact that I was able to pick the habit back up. Meditation started at 10 PM. Was feeling hungover (uncomfortable bodily sensations mostly near the gut area) which affected the quality of thoughts that appeared. Stretched at the ~40th minute with eyes-closed and at the 55th minute mark had the “When is this going to end?” thought. Timer went off unexpectedly… A relaxing meditation.

Day 10: better than yesterday’s, mainly because the bodily discomforts were mostly gone. The 60 minutes went by relatively smoothly and the session was mostly composed of the constant exercise of bringing back thoughts to awareness. I had “timer” thoughts maybe once or twice. Did feel super relaxed for a moment or two about 40 or 50 minutes in. Glad to be back on track.

Day 11: the general feeling with this meditation was that I felt very “centered” in awareness, meaning that I had a clear grasp of whenever I became unaware. Because of this, my senses felt very much alive (I could hear the faintest of sounds). For a moment thought of extending to 2 hours, but knew it would have been too much. A few “timer” thoughts along the way.

Day 12: an overall “hard” session - without moments of deep relaxation or “no-thoughts” state for the entire hour. Did exercise the attention muscle though by always bringing thoughts back to the breath or sounds. The session was at night and after an activity-filled day, so that might have had something to do with the constant thinking I experienced.

Day 13: slight hints of relaxation throughout the second half, but it definitely felt like a long session. Got kind of restless for the last 10 minutes waiting for the timer to go off. Still, did feel that my attention centered which is always good.

Day 14: only did 30 min for this session (will make up for the other 30 min later). This session helped calm my mind down and process the events that happened in the day. 30 min meditating now feel a lot “easier” than it used to a couple of weeks ago.

Day 15: this one was one weird because it’s the “fastest” session I’ve completed so far - but it might be because I fell asleep. It’s hard to tell the ratio of how much time I was asleep vs. how much time “I” wasn’t there. I was tired to start off with but I’ll never know. Definitely felt relaxed afterwards (had only “one” timer thought and timer going off caught me off guard). Meditated at 8 PM.

Day 16: definitely a weird one. Had a lot of creative bursts during this session especially around the Phone Awareness vision (immediately wrote stuff down afterwards). Even had some erotic thoughts towards the end. The session felt quick and was seeing some abstract, formless visuals as the time expired. Meditated at 12 PM.

Day 17: meditated today at 5 PM between the first and second goings of the Synagogue for Rosh Hashanah. The session was much needed given the amount of socializing I had in the past day - so needed to decompress a bit. Managed to achieve some calmness during and after the session even-though my mind was mostly full all throughout. Glad I have picked up this habit as I’m starting to realize how important it is in my day-to-day life.

Day 18: one of the worst meditations I have done so far, in part because my body didn’t feel right (felt bloated), in part because I haven’t done exercise in a couple of days, in part because it was a night session (7 PM). Ants crawling and tickling my leg was distracting even-though I just tried to be aware of the feeling. Do feel relaxed despite it all.

Day 19: a good but not great session. Can notice that how my body feels certainly influences the meditation. For today, I had been on a 20+ hour fast and was feeling great. Felt (positively) the deceleration of thoughts after the hour had passed, but felt quite unfocused the last 10 mins.

Day 20: this was a quite different session from the rest because it was the first one that I did laid down entirely (I was tired). One key insight: being fully aware should be effortless - being tired help me realize that. This hour felt the fastest probably because I fell asleep.

Day 21: this session was close to great (and I sort of knew it was going to be this way coming in). The first 20 min using the Waking Up app flew by, and in the next half hour I had pockets of stillness which felt great. I also saw a big opening of light (nothing crazy), but indeed a light visual. Then some erotic thoughts, then waiting for the timer.

Day 22: feels like one of the sessions where “all went well”. It felt short, and much more at peace and calm at the end than how I was coming in. What I call "longer sessions" are the ones where there’s a lot of mental chatter. If I’m not there, there’s no chatter. I’m calm.

Day 23: only did 30 minutes because I was busy throughout the day. My mind was mostly full with creative Hackathon-related thoughts, but overall a great session as I’m feeling calm and collected.

Day 24: probably did 30 minutes before I fell asleep. I was at the beach today so didn’t have time for a formal session.

Day 25: my mind was mostly full for the entire hour, but I don’t take that as a bad thing. Rather, it was expected because of only meditating for 30 min the past couple of days. This session was super important for me as my thoughts themselves self-organized, which got me some clarity on the things that were on my mind (mostly Hackathon related). Good session insight-wise, but not particularly relaxing.

Day 26: this session was during Yom Kippur, and I did 90 minutes in total (split 50/20/20). The first 50 minutes felt terrible, mainly because of my displeasing bodily sensations (I ate a lot of cheese yesterday). Then the next couple of 20 minutes sessions (30 minutes in between them) felt good as I cleared-up some thoughts and felt a bit calm afterwards.

Day 27: did only a 20-minute meditation today as I was traveling all day. Glad I did not break the streak. Felt relatively fast and it’s starting to feel like these are “easy” now, but certainly not enough time to arrive at a deep relaxation state (as I’ve already figured). Mostly my thoughts were about Matt getting to the apartment and the upcoming Hackathon. Excitement. 

Day 28: Hackathon Day 1 - guided Matt through a 20 min meditation. Felt good. Hackathon day so I had little time.

Day 29: Hackathon Day 2 - no meditation.

Day 30: Hackathon Day 3 - 10 min session as I fell asleep.

Day 31: ETH Latam - 20 min before going to bed.

Day 32: DevCon VI, Day 1 - no meditation.

Day 33: DevCon VI, Day 2 - no meditation.

Day 34: DevCon VI, Day 3 - 20 mins before bed.

Day 35: DevCon VI, Day 4 - no meditation.

Day 36: did a 20 minute meditation before going to bed through the Waking Up app. Felt really good overall although mind was mostly busy. Just happy I got to focus for 20 minutes.

Day 37: 30 minute meditation before going to sleep; felt good, relaxing even-though mind was mostly full but it was a good time to process my thoughts.

Day 38: 55 minute meditation in the morning (I haven’t had a long session in a while). It felt long (opened my eyes and saw 16 minutes remaining). It calmed me down even-though thoughts were ever-present throughout the session. Definitely feel relaxed and ready to go about my day with a bit more clarity, calm and peace inside.

Day 39: today I did my longest meditation session ever - 70 minutes. Going in I was really fidgety, non-concentrated and with pervasive anxiety, and coming out of it I was calm and serene (so super worth it!). The last 20 minutes of the session I did a more relaxing version of the Wim Hof method (respiration practice). Towards the end I did reach good relaxation states with interesting fractal visuals. I did feel very intense sensations this time (at first displeasing ones). A lot of energy and radiancy flowing through my body.

Day 40: 80 min meditation in the morning - the longest session yet (60 minutes zazen, 20 min Wim Hof). Did attain very relaxing states throughout the session, so it was worth it, although I did feel some sort of pressure of wanting to get on with my day and being productive. Maybe I should split the sessions 60 min in the morning and 30 minutes at night moving forward. Also did 30 minutes of Wim Hof in the afternoon.

Day 41: did 40 minutes today. Felt very good and relaxing. I could enter a state of relaxation early on in the session.

Day 42: listened to a Waking Up talk for the first 30 minutes, did 20 min on my own and for the last 10 opened up a book. Very relaxing. There was a quick second where I believe I “lost myself” but as soon as I realized that I immediately dropped out of it. Having sensed that state of non-duality was the takeaway of the session (this in itself is a contradiction as technically my “self” wasn’t present, but alas). Also felt displeasure in my stomach which affected my meditation as I had eaten cheese the day before. More and more I realize how interconnected your body (and what you eat) is related to your mind and mental state.

Day 43: feel like I’ve now picked up the habit after the ETH week just recently. Good session overall - got me calm. I think I tried too hard to be aware, which is a problem, but there were some peaceful pockets. My mind was mostly full during the session and despite that I felt relaxed afterwards. Lesson: don’t try too hard next time.

Day 44: felt tired so I did 50 minutes of the session laying down, which I think made the session easier. I’m starting to note how the quality of the session is influenced by what posture you’re in. This session felt super fluid, at most I had 1 thought of “when is this going to end?” which is a low number. That’s how relaxed I felt. It may be because I was lying down, but I was indeed trying to just be aware. Was seeing some weird and non-vivid visuals and amorphisms. In general, good and relaxing session.

Day 45: 12 AM to 1 AM session. The insight out of this sessions is how different it feels for me to meditate in the morning versus at night. At night your mind is forced to process all of the activity you’ve done in the entire day, something that sleep to some extent already does. In the morning, that job is done which leaves more space for your mind to reach those relaxation states. Definitely didn’t enter deep relaxing states this time but I do feel calm and did had a couple of “productive” thoughts but nothing crazy. I feel happy with this session.

Day 46: 45 minutes in the morning, which felt quick. A regular session where I recognized that meditating in the morning is more beneficial than at night. I’m now starting to grasp what it means for the base layer of awareness to be infinite. I know that sounds loaded, but you can’t really grasp or put into words the state that you’re in when you’re not thinking. Words slice and define, so it’s by definition that you can’t describe these states. When you do so, you’re leaving stuff out. I’ve started to kind of understand and feel what that means. The mind jumps all over the place yet has no center.

Day 47: 50 minutes today, came into the session really anxious and restless. I do feel myself calmed down now - I actually can’t think of a time where that doesn’t happen. Did another 30 minutes before going to bed to get myself in the right headspace to read for a bit.

Day 48: 30 minutes today - an O.K. session.

Day 49: 35 mins in the morning, 30 minutes at night. Not enough time to enter relaxing states in either of the sessions, but it’s enough time to calm myself down, even if slightly. 

Day 50: day 50! Feels a bit crazy how I’ve managed to sustain this habit for so long now. I do feel that there’s a bit of self-conflict in meditating to complete this challenge, which is definitely not the intention of the practice at all. I debated dropping the challenge entirely, but decided to just keep at it for 10 more days… this challenge is the habit kickstarter, I say to myself. Anyways, I did 60 minutes of zazen today, then 20 minutes of yoga. I feel relaxed, confident and ready to finish a couple of things I have due today.

Day 51: meditated for 90 minutes tonight - feeling extremely relaxed compared to how I felt going in. This despite having 4 hours of sleep and feeling hungover... incredible! Mind was mostly full during the entire time but got to clear a lot of thoughts. Laid down for the last bit of the session.

Day 52: did 75 minutes - mind was mostly full. Did hit very relaxing states where I can't figure if my self was there or not - pretty indescribable. Good in general.

Day 53: I must admit that today I cheated. Well - not really? I didn’t formally sit down today in the same cushion with the same posture, but rather meditated for 120 minutes by being extremely aware of whatever I was doing moment for moment. With no music and alone… just the recognizing of my thoughts. Did yoga, did Wim Hof. Not perfect, but refreshing. Feel lighter now, and even made great progress in something I had been stuck on for a bit.

Day 54: 60 minutes today (average session time) - mind was mostly full with thoughts regarding my project. I realize I have no control whatsoever over these thoughts (or any thought, really) even if I sometimes wish I did. I can only control my awareness towards them, and in that awareness is how they gently pass by. A great session, well worth it.

Day 55: no meditation - busy, busy day.

Day 56: did 50 minutes in the morning, which felt super smooth. I’ve noticed that a lot of how my session goes is determined by my prior mood. In this case, I felt relaxed beforehand so the session was easy-peasy. If I’m not, the session tends to feel longer, but it’s almost guaranteed I’ll feel relaxed coming out of it regardless.

Day 57: participated in Waking Up's first retreat, "PAUSE". A 6+ hour event that included: Zazen, Kinhin, looking at myself in the mirror for a long period of time and listening to profound talks. I am moved by how peaceful living moment to moment felt like - and at the same time - impressed by how unaware I am of my default "go go go" state. Everything felt slower and full of life for these few hours, although I dropped out of it almost immediately as I went on about my day. Would do a longer retreat.

Day 58: meditated for 30 mins, then did yoga for 30 mins. Relaxing.

Day 59: felt I "had to" meditate today to complete the 60 for 60 challenge. That took me out of meditation entirely, as the intention of my practice was not the right one. Anyways did an hour of yoga and was carefully aware of my thoughts for another couple of hours.

Day 60: still felt like the practice for today was "forced" - just so I could complete the challenge. Glad that it's ending for me to just meditate at my own pace. An hour in the morning and two in the afternoon of careful thought examination.